a bit of cart-before-the-horse syndrome

Here's something funny that I had totally forgotten: before putting a single real word on paper, we (I) started asking about how we go about being wildly successful! I sent an email to my excellent friend, actor, writer, voice over artist, children's book author, garlic pizza connoisseur, Roger Eschbacher. He gave me some very good advice, much of which is painfully obvious now. Back then, however, we were as green as canned string beans. Basically, what Roger told me was that we would get no where on our own and needed representation - ideally in the form of a literary agent. However, he also planted the seed in our fertile little minds that we could maybe - just maybe - shoot this ourselves. Foreshadowing?

Meanwhile, I just found the email when I thought up the title. I'm so very proud of myself for this little contribution!

Amy to Scott 8-21-06
Anyway, on the assumption that we are setting it in a mountain town, I have a title idea. The town is the fictional Continental Divide, Colorado and the title can be either "Crossing the Divide" or "Over the Divide" - something like that.

And at the risk of sounding like we are a pair of condescending twits, here's what I had to say about our most talented actor buddy, Matt Bachus, joining our party:

I'm sure Matt B. would be happy to participate in any project either of us approach him with. He's just that kind of loyal. Like a big puppy dog.

That's actually just about the kindest thing I've ever written about Matt. That's just the kind of junior high, pigtail pulling type of relationship we have. Exactly the kind of person I want to work with for the rest of our careers!

Along those same adolescent lines, here is my reply to Scott regarding his thoughts:

I can't wait to hear the details your feeble mind is coming up with!

Ah, true love!

OK, so next, Scott comes up with the beginnings of the core family & the opening scene:

Scott to Amy 8-21-06
I LOVE "Crossing the Divide" !!!!!

And so it was said, so it shall be.

I'm thinking the core family is a group of adult siblings, raised by a grandmother (something happened to the parents, not sure what). The grandmother is still alive, holding up remarkably well for having grandchildren in their thirties.

Opening scene is in a hospital emergency room where the siblings, their collective significant others, and the grandmother have all arrived, escorted by the police. The grandmother has just shot one of her grandsons (not a life-threatening injury - perhaps a bullet in the glutious maximum - that's Latin for butt, right?). And it wasn't an accident, either...

Wow - we actually kept a lot of that, although, as you will find out eventually, not quite that much violence.

And then off Scott went on a tangent that, fortunately, didn't last long:

Scott to Amy 8-21-06
The title "Crossing the Divide" is now making me think there needs to be TWO grandmothers. The father's mother and the mother's mother, and both of them had a hand in raising these now-adult siblings. And the two grandmothers have been lifelong enemies in this community. The kids now straddle being loyal to one grandmother or the other, causing a little friction between themselves.

Because what we really needed was yet another character!

Fortunately, that didn't last long and we figured out that the "divide" in question should be over bringing development to this sleepy little town. Half of the citizens want to town to retain its charming, small-town ambiance while the others are welcoming the idea of a burgeoning economy, big resorts, Wal-Marts, etc.

Meet the Brady Bunch!

Okay, not The Brady Bunch. Instead, meet the characters we created to be regulars on our proposed series. I bet there's a Brady correlation in there somewhere, though. I am quite sure that Todd, the middle brother, suffers from 'Jan Brady' syndrome. I bet he goes around whining, "Tyler, Tyler, Tyler!" all the time.

But I am getting ahead of myself.

You can see from the e-mail exchanges between Amy and myself that we started with the idea of how we'd update "Northern Exposure" and then realized we'd only invite comparisons to the original. Can anybody say "Bionic Woman Update?" "Knight Rider Update?" "Family Affair Update?" We didn't want to go there.

"Men in Trees" came and went. To our enormous relief. Even as it puttered weakly through its two seasons on ABC, Amy and I were hard at work on our pilot script.

And here are the characters who "live" in our fictional town of Continental Divide, the focus of our soon to be fabulously-successful television series "Crossing the Divide:"

Rita Havenstock - cranky old woman who runs a ramshackle motel in town. She's also the matriarch of the equally ramshackle Archer family. At an age when most people could be thinking about taking life easy, she found herself having to raise her three orphaned nephews.

The nephews are:

Tyler Archer - the oldest brother. The golden boy. Was the high school quarterback and class president. Runs a successful real estate business. His ethics are a little shady, but hey, when you're that good-looking...

Todd Archer - the middle brother. As I said, suffers from "Jan Brady Syndrome." Never as good at anything as his brother. Constantly chasing the lastest get-rich-quick scheme. Back in town after a lengthy absence with a wife and daughter in tow.

Danny Archer - the youngest brother. Marches to the beat of his own drum. Nothing ruffles him too much. Makes his living as a wilderness guide. He's the one you'd want watching your back in any kind of circumstance. Somehow, despite the influence of his two big brothers, he turned out honest as the day is long. Which isn't to say he doesn't have his own problems.

Also:

Amanda Archer - Todd's long-suffering wife. Smart, down-to-earth. Her only real lapse in judgment was marrying Todd.

Livia Archer - daughter of Todd and Amanda. An old soul in a young body. Intellectually, she's head and shoulders above both parents. Socially, she's got a ways to go, but she's willing to give it a try.

Rose - she's Danny's live-in girlfriend. A refugee from a privileged urban existence, she's reinvited herself as something entirely different in this new life she's leading.

Winston - he runs the local diner.

Sean Hendricks - he runs the local newspaper.

Mickey - nobody is entirely sure what he does, even those who know him best. If Shakespeare also composed music, or if
Mozart also wrote screenplays, and if either one of them was an avid skinny-dipper, then they'd have a lot to talk about with Mickey.

Lou - She's gorgeous, she's secretive, she's new in town, and she's very good at hurting people. With her words AND with her hands.

Okay, that's it. That's our cast.

The only problem is, that's eleven people. If you watch "The Brady Bunch," you'll notice there are only nine boxes in the opening credits. We have more people than we have boxes!!!

What are we going to do?

And don't offer any logical answer like, "Why do you have to have nine boxes in your opening credits?" This isn't about making sense. This is about creating fine art!!!

Stay tuned for what we decided to do next.

Since I am the keeper of the old emails, let me take a little dip in there and see what I can find.

While we were still kind of stuck on the whole rewrite-Northern-Exposure idea, Scott had these character ideas:

Scott to Amy 8-14-06

After Rob Morrow left and they brought in the new doctor and his wife, I thought, "Why do they think there has to be a central doctor character to the story? Go a different direction!" So that's what I'd want to do. I'd love it if we still had a few of the old characters--Holling, Shelley, Maurice, and, of course, Marilyn. Peg Phillips, who played my favorite character, Ruth Ann, has died, alas... The new characters would be in totally different professions...no doctor, no pilot, no DJ. I think we'd want to see a newspaper editor. A teacher. Something totally out of left field like Ed, the aspiring filmmaker. Some sort of New Age guru who has settled in Cicely because its "Juxtaposition" on the globe makes it a good spot for communing with cosmic forces, or something silly like that. A good character for Maurice to be totally disgusted with, and someone who is right just often enough to cause Maurice added discomfort. That might be the perfect role for you. An "Earth Mother" type who runs a little shop full of crystals and talismans, something you'd never expect could possibly succeed in a small town like Cicely. Someone who claims to have some extra sensory powers or who has lived previous lives, and has settled in Cicely because she believes she lived there once before. There'd have to be some real dichotomies in your character. Like, in addition to being all New-Agey, you'd indulge in extreme sports, or something.

My contribution was to start thinking up a title.

Hey, can anyone rememeber what new show was on the air in the Fall of 06??? I'll give you a hint: it was set in a small quirky twon in Alaska. We kind of thought we were sunk before we even got started, but the show was "Men in Trees" and we were good to go!

As we continued to talk about the different characters, we pretty much came to realize that we were writing our own, new show and not a sequal.

Scott to Amy 8-18-06

I suppose, to be utterly realistic, what I have to accept is that we can't do a Northern Exposure update, though. Instead, I have to come up with our own quirky little small town show. Not too difficult. Everything else can remain in place.

Confident, right?

OK, more character chatter (from the same email):

Although the idea has been done before, I rather like the idea of having a character (perhaps Alan Tudyk's character) who has an identical twin, who behaves very differently from his brother. Or does he have a twin..? Nobody has ever actually seen both of them together at the same time, so maybe there really is only one of them. But for whatever reason, the entire town is willing to go along with him, for whatever reason. Their philosophy is, "Well, maybe he does have a twin. And, if he doesn't, well then, he must have a good reason for wanting us to BELIEVE that he does..." And if Alan's regular character is a skeptic who doesn't like to do outdoor activities, then his "counterpart" should be opposite in a lot of ways. Maybe it's also unclear whether or not your character knows for sure if there's a twin, or if she's in on the truth, whatever the truth is. And that she's perfectly happy with the masquerade, if indeed it is just as masquerade.

Amy to Scott 8-18-06

I agree that a NE sequel would not fly, unless, of course, the original creators did it. I think the established fan base would mutiny.

However, I really see no reason why a local show couldn’t happen. I know money is an issue, but look at if from a “build it and it will come” point of view. Seriously, let’s get together, brain storm, write up a polished spec script (is that a contradiction in terms?) and THEN worry about where the money will come from. There are people in this town who have cash to spare – we just have to find them. Also, I have no shame and am willing to pick the brains of the few contacts I have left in LA. I think this is a REALLY good idea. People (us included) love shows about crazy people – maybe it makes them feel better about themselves?!?!

The “twin” idea is great fun and there is a whole lot of potential in it. Especially when considering how much “my” character knows. The only thing I would say is don’t set it in a small mountain town with a name that remotely resembles Evergreen – it’s been done! I do have one request, however, once the show is a big hit and there is network support & a strong fan following – let’s do a musical episode!

Sex Sells. Why hasn't anybody else ever noticed this?

So, it was time to start committing ideas to paper.

We knew our setting would be a small Colorado town tucked just far enough away into the mountains to be charming, yet slightly inaccessible. And so was born our fictional town of Continental Divide. Amy researched the name--so far as we know, there isn't and never was a Colorado town by that name.

Well, there is now.

Let me walk you around the place. It's one of those Colorado boom towns that flourished and then faltered, born during the gold and silver rushes of the mid to late 1800s. Continental Divide is one of the handful of communities that managed to hang on past its logical expiration date, mostly by the sheer stubbornness of its residents, eking out a living via the timber trade and cattle ranching.

Out-of-state investors have started eyeing the lovely mountainsides, just ripe for development as a new ski area. There's a lot of talk nowadays about Continental Divide become a new tourist mecca. Some people are for it. Some are against it.

Our tagline for the show is: Continental Divide... It could be the new Aspen. It could be the old "Deliverance." It's really too soon to tell...

Is that an idea compelling enough to build a whole television series around? Possibly. If you can populate the place with enough interesting characters.

Amy and I discussed who would live in our town. We wanted the place to be diverse (old, young, ethnically well-represented, etc.) and realistic. Funny, compelling, exciting, and yet believable.

Oh, and sexy. Let's face it... No matter what anybody says, they want their television shows to have a handful of sexy people hanging around. And if turns out that some of those people have a recurring tendency to occasionally lose articles of clothing, well, so much the better!

I knew we could work that element into our plots. I am very good at pandering to the lowest common denominator of taste. If we could just insert a few hysterical kicks to the groin, why we'd be good to go!

Yes, our idea was beginning to take on specific form and tone. We just needed to figure out who the core cast of characters would be. And how often we could get them naked. I was confident we were up to the challenge.